Breaking the Cycle of Overthinking: 5 Steps to Stop Ruminating and Start Moving Forward

Overthinking at Work: How One Question Changed Everything and Helped Me Break the Cycle

I had started a new role, I’d been doing the work already, and the title shift reflected where I wanted to go. New team. New boss. I was so excited, and then also very confused.

I had great working relationships with past bosses and was sure this would be the same… except it wasn’t. You know that feeling when you start something new, and there’s that whole "getting to know the new team and leader, and all the other things" phase?

Anyway, the new boss would end conversations with, “Looking forward to hearing about that.”

In hindsight, I should have clarified the first time I felt confused, but I didn’t. Instead, I went back to my office, scrunched my face, and scratched my head wondering what that meant.

Was that a cue to send a follow-up? Add it to our biweekly check-in? Pass a note under the bathroom stall? Schedule a meeting? Or was it… just a polite sign-off?

I didn’t want to be annoying, I was already asking a million questions. I also didn’t want to mess it up.

Obviously, I just hovered in the land of WTF does that mean?

Waiting to see if they would ask me, sometimes adding it to our meeting agenda, and mostly just being confused. It was very subtle and it lingered in my mind, my body, my confidence, and every time I turned the corner to the office (back when office’ing was mostly the only way).

Then one day… I did the most radical thing of all:

I asked. BOOOOYA! Imagine that.

“Hey, when you say that… what are you expecting?”

They laughed. “Oh, nothing in particular. No update needed.”

That was it.
As it turned out, it was just a pleasantry, like a “Hi…hello… how are you?… fine, you?… fine. Yup great. Good, good… see ya.” It was like that, nothing more.

What a waste of time and energy for something that wasn’t even real. One clear question, and I got my peace (and my brain) back.

If You’re Stuck in Your Head… I Get It

If you’ve got something lingering in your head, something unsaid, unclear, unresolved, I get it.

Your brain insists on replaying that conversation for the hundredth time:

• What you should have said.
  
• What they probably meant.
  
• What you could say next time (but likely won’t).
  
  

Sound familiar? We’ve all been there and it’s exhausting.

It steals your time, energy, and presence, and your overall effectiveness.
Overthinking is a real thing.

Here’s how you can break the cycle of rumination and move forward with clarity.

5 Steps to Break the Cycle of Overthinking

1) Notice & Pause

Here you are again, in the familiar pattern of ruminating. Take a deep breath, acknowledge what’s happening. What feeling are you trying to avoid?

2) Ask Yourself If You’re Up for Trying Something Else

If yes: move to step 3.
If not: that’s okay. Ask yourself the cost of not shifting, and accept the impacts.

3) Define What’s Holding You Back

What’s stopping you from having the conversation directly? What stories are you telling yourself?
(Yes, yes, I know, you’ve tried, and you’re convinced you know exactly how it’ll turn out…)

4) Check In With Your Body

Notice any physical sensations that come up. Where do you feel tension or discomfort? Chest? Stomach? Somewhere else?
Breathe into these sensations and let yourself be fully present.

5) Ask What Else Might Be Possible

Now that you’ve interrupted the cycle, open up to new possibilities. What could happen if you approached this differently?

Choose Your Next Step

Decide what action you want to take.
Will you keep ruminating in the car… or take a step forward?

Stop Overthinking and Start Leading with Confidence

Ruminating is exhausting, and it costs more than you realize—time, energy, focus.

Every time you replay that conversation, you’re giving away precious mental space that could be yours for things you love.

Try these steps to shift out of the rumination rut and into action. Because life’s too short for replay mode.

Want Support?

If you’re ready to stop overthinking and start leading with purpose, I’m here to help.

In June, I’m offering 90-minute coaching sessions to help you gain the clarity you need to make decisions and move forward with confidence.

DM me if you’re interested.