Do You Have to Shrink to Be Seen as Professional?

Do You Have to Shrink to Be Seen as Professional?

I got my nose pierced in Israel when I was 18.
What I didn’t expect was the identity crisis that followed.

“Maybe you should put a bandaid on it… just for the first few days.”

A harmless suggestion. Said with love. Still made me shrink.

Becoming Someone… and Shrinking Anyway

I’d just come home from a year of traveling with my friend. We were 18, on a post–high school adventure.

We:

• Lived on a kibbutz
• Picked worms off trees in Israel
• Got into a motorbike accident in Thailand
• Got left in the desert
• Saw the pyramids
• Worked for our bed (yes bed, not room) at a hostel
• Asked strangers for directions
• Called our parents collect
• Learned by getting lost & talking to people—because this was pre-Google Maps, pre-TripAdvisor, pre-cellphones
  

And at some point along the way, I walked into a knockoff Claire’s and got my nose pierced.
They “sterilized” the needle with perfume. The headache lingered for days.

I wanted to keep traveling.

But, it was “time to come home and go to school.”

Cue the Identity Shift

A few months later I started business school because I liked economics, systems, people, and the idea of international exchanges (hello Toronto, Sweden, & New Zealand).  It felt like the “right” next step.

Then came my first real job at RBC Dominion Securities in 1998. A solid role, one that let me keep learning, exploring, and meeting people and it checked all the “Supposed to do” boxes.

And I still remember that little comment about the nose ring, and it made me question myself.

“Do I need to hide parts of myself to be seen as competent? Professional? Capable?”

That question followed me for years. 

Into leadership roles.

Into rooms where I wasn’t sure if my full self was welcome.

You’re Not Alone (and You’re Not Wrong)

Today, I see this exact inner dialogue from clients, friends, and women all the time.
Brilliant women who quietly ask themselves:

Is it okay to be fully me here?

Great news: it sure is.

And yet we don’t always believe it.

Here’s the challenge—most of us have been trained to shrink.

To keep the shiny spiky, prickly or sparkly parts under wraps.

Want to Let Your Magic Lead?

If this is speaking to you, come join me for a free 90-minute workshop:
Let Your Magical Unicorn Out
For brilliant women who are done shrinking to fit

A Question to Leave You With:

Have you ever felt like you had to shrink to fit in?
What would change if you stopped?